My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
it's great music for shaving your balls
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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