I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
