from now on my penis is your penis
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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