I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
