Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I am available for nakedness
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
