Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
