Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
