Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
