So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
