I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I think I sprained my soul last night
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
