we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
you are never too drunk for berry picking
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Randomize