and you said cock pushups were impossible
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize