Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Randomize
