Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
