Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
