well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
