matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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