You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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