tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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