Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
