I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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