Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
