So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
