I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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