we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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