You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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