So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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