I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
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