bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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