just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
