well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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