Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
