This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
No stitches, just platelets and will power
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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