She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
