I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize