Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
my liver is dry heaving
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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