today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
