Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Randomize
