shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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