So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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