hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
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