just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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