i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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