I like my sex mixed with concussions.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
