But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
cat food counts as protein by the way
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
