you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
