I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
