You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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