i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
