You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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