Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
