you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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