I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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