doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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