And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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