your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
