Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I AM VODKA MAN
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
