In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
