so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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