So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
