guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
