when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
