You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Thank you for not boning my boss.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
