How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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