meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
