This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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