you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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